'Loss is intrinsic to the human experience, whether it be loss of youth, or health, or the ending of a joyous day, or the finishing of a relationship, or, of course, the death of a loved one.

But in order to live truly, to experience life fully, we need to be able to accept that. We sometimes need to be able to sit with the pain and to accept discomfort.

And at the far end of the spectrum of loss is grief, which is one of the greatest manifestations of psychological pain that we can go through.'

Julia Samuel ('Grief Works' 2017)

resources

There is a wealth of excellent Grief Awareness material around. Books, Instagram accounts, podcasts, blogs, YouTube, resources on charity websites.

These are a few (I will keep adding others) which have really inspired me, so I share them with you. As you explore further, you will find what resonates with you.

Julia Samuel

A grief psychotherapist with three decades of working with the bereaved, she describes in her book 'Grief Works - Stories of Life, Death, and Surviving' (publ. 2017) her patients' stories of loss, the process of 'recovery', showing us how to live through and learn from great loss.
@griefworksprogramme on Instagram offers sensitive nuggets of wisdom and practical tools. The Grief Works programme offers free webinars and resources, but also an app.
Read more about Julia and her work at https://www.griefworks.com/

Cariad Lloyd

In her inspiring award-winning podcast 'Griefcast' she and her guests talk openly and honestly, with depth and humour side by side, about death and dying. Cariad's father died when she was 15. Some of her guests in the last decade include Rev. Richard Coles, Jimmy Carr, Sara Pascoe, Monty Don, Greg Wise, and Marian Keyes. Cariad says 'Griefcast is a podcast that examines the human experience of grief and death - but with comedians, so it’s cheerier than it sounds.'

Her wonderful book 'you are not alone' (publ. 2023) is a glorious read, packed with wisdom, warmth, and honesty about her own experience as a 'griefster' in the 'grief club', working through her 'grief mess'. I found myself both weeping and laughing.

Instagram: @cariadlloyd

'I lit the flame from the other candles, the other memories. I pushed it into the holder tightly. I pushed it in so that you wouldn't dare move.

I lit them for you. To say "He was here. He was bloody here."

These candles go out, but they were here, I know because I lit them.'

The final lines of Cariad Lloyd's poem 'I lit a candle for you.' You can read the whole poem on pages 85 - 86 of 'you are not alone'

'Everyday life is full of reminders and grief land mines that the non-grieving wouldn't even think of. When someone you love dies, you don't just lose them in the present or in the past. You lose the future you should have had, and might have had, with them.....The world is full of things connected to your grief. If there is anything that gives you even a moment's relief or respite, move towards that.'

Megan Devine 'It's OK that you're NOT OK' page 72

Megan Devine

Megan's husband Matt died 2009 in a drowning accident just before his 40th birthday. 'It was random, unexpected, and it tore my world apart.'

In her superb book, 'It's OK that you're NOT OK - Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand' (publ. 2017) ('real talk about grief, with no sugar-coating') she tells the truth about loss, in a way that is comforting, validating, and deeply honest and generous. She encourages us to look grief in the eye, to sit with it, to support ourselves and each other when we find ourselves in a place of profound loss and despair. From her own perspective as a psychotherapist and widow and from her work with others who are suffering.

Take a look at her website https://refugeingrief.com/ where there are resources, and a link to her podcast.

Instagram: @refugeingrief

'May there be such a oneness between us that when one weeps, the other tastes salt.'
Kahlil Gibran

Joanne Cacciatore

Joanne's newborn daughter Cheyenne died in 1994 and since then she has devoted herself to working with grieving people and to help them to find meaning again. Her book 'Bearing the Unbearable - Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief' (2017) is just wonderful. It is a companion for life's most difficult timess, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection and compassion, as we face love and loss. There are moving stories of individuals, families, and communities, as well as her own experience of loss. She opens a space for us to process, integrate, and deeply to honour our grief.

I also recommend her perfect pocket sized book Grieving is Loving - Compassionate Words for Bearing the Unbearable. Poems, reflections, quotations, and stories.

Instagram: @grief_doctor
Look for her on YouTube as Dr Joanne Cacciatore

'When we love deeply, we mourn deeply; extraordinary grief is an expression of extraordinary love. Grief and love mirror each other; one is not possible without the other.'

Joanne Cacciatore 'Bearing the Unbearable' publ. 2017

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